I'll start with the story of my name(s).
I was initially named Sally Jo Huntsman. My mother's name is Carolyn - she was never called Carol, except for occasionally by her big brother Fred. Her mother would however call her Sally. Sally is generally a nickname for Sarah. My grandmother's name is Mattie Augusta Bigham Cooper. Nana was born in 1906 and just turned 103 this past October. Anyway, she was named after her Aunt Martha who was nicknamed Mattie. She has always hated being named the nickname. So I come along and get named a nickname. Mom figured her mother would call me Sally anyway.
Growing up I loved being named Sally. I was often called Sally Jo. It was a great name for a child. I enjoyed learning its meaning. Sally means Princess (from the Hebrew Sarah). Jo is Scottish for Little Sweetheart. So my birth name means Little Princess Sweetheart who Hunts Men!
I have a childlike nature about me. Oh, I've learned how to act older when necessary, but I am more naturally playful. People usually think I am younger than the calendar says. As I grew older into adulthood it seems people weren't taking me very seriously.
Eventually I married my high school sweetheart Bill Shireman and took his last name. I like the name Shireman. Shireman is an English name as is Huntsman. From Middle English schireman, and Old English scirman, literally 'shire man' which was the name for a sherif or other administrative official of a county.
So I was called Sally Jo Shireman.
In my late twenties I worked towards a Masters in Traditional Chinese Medicine. I learned that it worked great but that I didn't really enjoy doing it - so didn't finish the degree. Plus my awesome daughter came along, but that is a different story. My point in bringing up graduate school is that on the first day of school I introduced myself as Sarah. Wow! Sarah was treated totally differently than Sally ever was! Was it me? Did I behave differently? I felt a bit odd about the name. Not truly identifying with it but liking the way others treated me. Her?
Many people in my life were calling me Sarah and others Sally. After I left school fewer and fewer people called me Sarah. There were still some at church who did. Feeling a bit fraudulent I reluctantly went back to the Sally. Neither name felt right.
A couple of years later I had one of my awesome Spiritual experiences. I was working on the registration committee for a special weeklong event we were having at my Unity church. I typed up a letter on my computer, signed it Sally and hit command-print. Suddenly this energy started gushing into me. Tons of it. I stopped the print command and said out loud to the gushing energy, "What?"
This marvelous Voice (not the still small voice, but the big booming one) proclaimed "Thou art Sara(h)!" I argued saying, "Don't you remember, I tried that already..." my irreverent query was interrupted by even stronger gushing Spiritual energy, unlike any I had ever felt before. I closed my eyes and surrendered, then I just knew. I knew that I had spelled Sarah wrong for me. I was Sara. Yes, I am Sara! Once I accepted that I was Sara the energy took on the sweetest quality and I just sat there in gratitude, relishing every moment of it I could in quiet meditation.
When I came to, I realized my young daughter Samantha who was 3 at the time had awakened from her nap. I told her I had decided to go by Sara, but that she could of course keep calling me Mom. She then proclaimed that from then on Sally would be my nickname and that we must tell everyone at church that I am Sara! She instinctively knew that this was a Spiritual thing.
Most people in my life accepted the Sara easily. It fit me. My mother however was saddened as she had been the one to name me Sally. I tried to tell her that the meaning was the same, it just vibrated a little differently. I shared with her my sacred experience of the voice proclaiming me Sara. At the time she said I had delusions of grandeur. I think she has come around. I realized that not everyone has heard that booming voice or even the still small one. After that it was years before I started sharing the full story again. I've since learned that I am of better service to humanity and to our evolution of consciousness by not hiding who I really am, but then that too is a story for later.
Anyway pretty much everyone now calls me Sara. My RN license says Sara, my Social Security Card says Sara, all my bank accounts, credit cards, my Passport and the title to my house all refer to me as Sara.
I am married now to Donald Anderson "Andrew" but still kept the Shireman name. It is Samantha's surname and I like it. It makes me think of The Shire in Middle Earth. Plus after getting everything changed over to Sara I wasn't about to start over again with the last name!
So for now I go by Sara Shireman, Sara J Shireman, Sara J. Shireman and I've seen Sara Jo Shireman.... I do admit that I have one credit card with the added last name of Anderson, but just the one. I wanted something that linked me to my husband's last name!
Sometimes I toy with dropping the "man" part of the name.... and I often use Sara Shire as an online name, but legally I'll leave it alone. At least for now...
No comments:
Post a Comment